Wedding

A Balinese wedding is an essential religious ritual for the individual and the whole community. The wedding ceremony is based on ancient Balinese-Hindu rituals and customs. 

Marriage is more or less compulsory for believers to preserve the family lineage for the future. Before the betrothed is declared man and wife, several ceremonies must be performed to make the wedding valid even before the law.

💡Interesting Fact: Premarital sex is illegal in Indonesia. It is unlawful for a couple to have their first sexual intercourse after marriage.

The local priest chooses the wedding day according to both Balinese calendars. The newly married couple is dressed in traditional Balinese dress during the ceremony.

Weddings are one of the most important moments in life for Balinese Hindus. It shows that they are ready to enter a new, more responsible life in society. The man gets the right to speak at the local administration unit (Banjar) meeting and must attend social gatherings such as temple ceremonies and other community activities. After the wedding, the newlywed starts to be seen as a man by other community members, and they know that they can entrust more responsibilities to him. If the couple does not undergo traditional religious ceremony with ceremonies, the community will not accept them as man and wife, and they may be excluded from the village.

A Balinese wedding must follow local customs to be considered official and valid. The whole process is quite complicated and is called Pewiwahan. The following stages are part of the wedding process:

1. Mesedek

On the first day, the groom's parents must ask the bride's parents for permission to marry during a visit to the bride's parents' house. If the bride's parents agree, the wedding is arranged. If they refuse for any reason, the marriage may be canceled.

2. Dewasa Ayu

The next step is to arrange a suitable date for the wedding Dewasa Ayu = good day. The date must be distinct from important festivals. The groom's parents will visit the elders in the community or the priest directly, who will recommend a suitable date according to the Balinese calendar.

3. Memadik

In this step, members of both families and community representatives gather with the groom and bride. Here again, both must confirm that they agree to the wedding. Once decided, the family discusses the details of the wedding. On this day, the groom will also bring the bride home, where a Mesegeh Agung ceremony will be performed to welcome the bride to the groom's home. Upon entering the house, the bride is covered with a yellow cloth, which the mother-in-law-to-be removes and exchanges for old Balinese money (Kepeng). This is to show the bride that they accept her into the family.

4. Mesakapan

It usually starts three days after the Memadik phase. It is a wedding day comprising several consecutive ceremonies conducted by a priest or official representation from the village leadership. They are meant to create a bond between the man and the woman. After these rituals, they are officially declared man and woman. The principal ceremonies of Mesakapan are:

5. The Mekala-kalaan

A ceremony, which includes several other rituals, is designed to purify the bride and groom so that a son will be born to them and their household will live in harmony. Prayers and blessings for the couple are also included.

6. Mewidhi Widana

A ceremony where all participants pray at the groom's house near the family temple for blessings and to welcome a new member of the family - a bride who will continue the lineage of their ancestors. This is an essential part because it is practically an approval of the bride by the relatives.

7. Ma Pejati

The opposite of the previous ceremony, where, instead, the wedding party prays at the bride's house as a farewell to her ancestors and their blessing. The groom's family brings gifts and food to the bride's family.

8. Mejauman

The last wedding ceremony. It's a ceremony where the wedding guests gather around a big table, and the families get to know each other more. In this case, the table (Meja) symbolizes togetherness.

The wedding process may vary slightly from village to village, but the ceremonies or their purpose are usually very similar, following the customs of Balinese Hindus.

There are still other wedding rituals that are associated with a different procedure. The above process was for the ideal situation when the man, woman, and both families agreed to the wedding.

There are still the following cases, and the rituals of the wedding ceremony differ slightly according to them:

A. Ngerorod

A situation where one of the parties disagrees with the wedding. For example, a woman directly, in which case it is an arranged marriage. This situation occurs less frequently but still exists and is accepted by Hinduism. Another situation is when the couple does not have parental consent. Such situations happen, for example, because of the difference in ethnicity of one of the spouses or caste. The last case may be the lack of finances for a big classical ceremony, even if everyone agrees to the wedding. Ngerorod is less financially costly, so many choose it temporarily until they save the necessary funds. As soon as they can afford it, they hold a traditional wedding.

B. Memadik

The process whereby the groom's parents seek permission to marry from the bride's parents at home. This route is also very costly as it usually involves large ceremonies and sacrifices where the groom's family hopes the bride's family will agree. It is also riskier. However, the groom's family will gain more respect from the bride's family.

C. Nyentana

The wedding process is used when no man exists in the bride's family. In this situation, if a groom agrees, the bride is a lineage continuator, and the groom will move into the bride's family and accept her ancestors as his own. Their descendants will continue the bride's lineage. Nyentana is not widespread because finding a man willing to give up his lineage and not continue his father's lineage is practically challenging.

For inter-caste weddings, visit the Castes Guide.